A Big Bunch of B.S.
Happy New Year!
I have so enjoyed sharing my series, the Reiki Principles in Action thus far. I have been inspired by their truths and have connected deeply and easily to how they weave through the fabric of my life journey and how they continue to ground and center me in a powerful way.
JUST FOR TODAY roots me in the moment.
...I WILL NOT WORRY aligns me with peace and ease.
...I WILL NOT ANGER is bringing up resistance in me...crap.
Instant resistance. Determined resistance. Enduring resistance.
I realized that I couldn't write this post until I sat with these many layers of resistance. So I tried to sit with it (I didn't try very hard), and when I wasn't able to write this post after I "sat" with it, I had a talk with my coach about it. And when I still couldn't write this post after basking in Kim's wisdom, I blamed Mercury Retrograde and called it a year.
***************
Something inside of me is speaking up today, and that despite my delay, today is a great day to acknowledge not only the resistance but what lies beneath...
"For every minute you remain angry,
you give up 60 seconds of peace."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING
THAT YOU ENDED UP BEING ANGRY ABOUT EVERYTHING?
Last month I had to go through a "process" of sorts, and I had feelings about it.
Based on the theme of this blog, I'll bet you can guess which feelings those were.
The process I was going through felt prescriptive, as though I were being compelled to participate in a big bunch of BS. I didn't like any of the options offered, and it ticked me off to feel like I was being "forced" to choose something that didn't serve me. Every time I thought of how irritating this situation was, my irritation grew, eventually expanding into frustration and from there, it was a slippery slide into anger.
*******************
Anger is a principle I struggle with for many reasons. Anger feels natural to me. It feels productive. It is action, and I get caught in the movement of anger's energy. I can take it with me wherever I go, and I certainly did in this instance.
What began as frustration over ONE choice injected irritation into having to wait more than 5 minutes at a lovely coffee shop over the holiday. It justified annoyance over a student stopping to chat with me after class when I had somewhere to be and offered sharp words when someone dispensed well meaning advice.
Was I really angry with the well meaning friend or the lovely and committed student who wanted a moment to connect or the hard working barista who was handling an influx of orders with patience and skill?
Nope.
I was angry, because I wasn't brave enough to say NO to the big bunch of BS in the first place. And it took me a loving bowl full of Truth Soup to see that.
Anger is a signal, a message. The authentic awakening of this emotion isn't negative, in my opinion. Where I lost myself to this lower vibration is that I attached to and reacted to the anger. When I finally realized how lost I had become, I began to draw myself back to a more grounded place so that I could acknowledge, process, and then release the anger that did not serve me. (I will admit that it took the support of a fair amount of chocolate and numerous episodes of the Big Bang Theory.) Had I addressed the imbalance when it occurred, when I understood that the choices offered to me were not a match because there were a big bunch of BS, I would have felt the energy of anger, healthfully expressed it if I need to do so, and then made my way back to Not Angry Victoria.
******************
JUST FOR TODAY, I WILL NOT ANGER feels as though it speaks to being so present, so focused on the purity and truth of the moment, that instead of things angering us, we sense the mismatch and do not let something out of our control draw us out of joy. I am still on the aspirational path to this, lol, and that's ok, because I continue to return to my higher self and find my center where love and peace and perspective are the priority...where the principles exist inside of me. I would rather lead with love than anything else, and staying angry gets in the way of that each and every day...No thanks
I am grateful to the Reiki Principles for reminding me that I don't have to focus on staying loving and peaceful for the rest of my life...
...I have to prioritize it JUST FOR TODAY.
