the Energy we carry
I have a storage unit. This, in itself, isn't a big deal. It was a practical option when I made the move out of NYC in 2017 and headed back to my hometown in NJ. For me, it was the ideal space in which to temporarily store items that were important to me and that I wanted in my future home...which was NOT (if I could help it) going to be in my hometown. My primary reason for moving home was to help my mother pack up her life and make her first big life move ... to North Carolina.
I had grand dreams of how I was going to pare down my unit. I imagined popping down to the local Dunkin' a few times a week for an iced coffee with a splash of cream and...what the hell...a few or 25 munchkins...who's counting when you need carbs to fuel your labor? I'd then meander over to my storage unit, pop the lock, and get at it with ease. I figured to have the unit halved within a month, and that a smaller unit would hold me over until I moved my mom and got back to my life.
HaHaHaHaHaHa!!!!!!!!!!
6 years later, I am in North Carolina, and my storage unit is still locked and fully loaded in NJ.
I think the reason I kept the contents for so long is that I hadn't felt certain about what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to release. Those times when I would load up on caffeine and sugar and dive into clearing out my space, I would easily overwhelm and overthink every decision. I felt buried under the task in front of me. I wasn't asking my inner knowing what made sense. I was operating on the need to be proactive and clean up my outer circumstance. After the umpteenth try to successfully make headway, I closed the door, locked it, and I walked away.
I just stopped. I stopped cleaning it out, and I moved.
Fast forward to a delicious hummus lunch I was enjoying at a cafe in Brooklyn last year with a good friend, Bart, when he put down his zataar pita (how he put it down for even a second still amazes me) and told me what I needed to hear. After lamenting about my inability to motivate myself to clean out my storage unit, Bart reminded me that I was doing myself a disservice by carrying around old energy (and paying an exorbitant fee for that privilege), a majority of which didn't align with who I am now. By keeping so much of my old energy in a state in which I no longer lived, was I even fully committed to my present life and future intentions? I had one foot in one place and one foot in another. If I wanted to move forward, I needed every part of me together. I was confusing myself and likely sending weird messages to the Universe.
That conversation (thank you, buddy) was a turning point for me. His words drew me back toward my intuition and my deep trust in its wisdom. Once I connected, I actually felt the weight of the storage space. I had been lugging this wright around out of obligation, old attachments, and overwhelm, and I was done with that...my energy was very done with it. I had needed to get the rest of me on board.
Now as I make plans to knock this project out of the park, my energy is excited to explore the contents of my life and align with whatever pieces still feel like me. I'm excited to cherish what I choose to transport down here. I am eager to have my grandmother's paintings, my favorite and highly chipped Maya Angelou vase, and my marching band pictures, and whatever else clicks. I am also as eager to joyfully and gratefully disconnect from everything else...to let the weight drop away...to put down what I have been carrying that no longer serves me...
The trip is booked. My intention is clear.
I've called ahead to Dunkin' to place a standing order...
I joyfully release all that I have carried that no longer aligns with my highest and truest self. Let the space I create from this release be filled with love and all that serves my purpose and my happiness for the highest good of all.
I hope that by sharing this, those of you who have energy that you have carried... that no longer aligns with who you are... can step into the moment where you are ready to let it all go with love and without judgement. Whether it be physical possessions, relationships, perspectives, or anything that feels like it doesn't belong with you anymore, I hope you offer yourself the privilege of releasing it all.
...Make it even sweeter with munchkins you can eat afterwards in celebration...
